Category Archives: premature ejaculation treatment

How To Overcome Premature Ejaculation


The original treatment for controlling premature ejaculation was developed in 1955 by Dr. James Semans. It’s based on stopping and starting sexual stimulation in a graded way, so that a man is exposed gradually increasing levels of sexual stimulation. As his tolerance for prolonged duration of sexual stimulation increases, so does his degree of control over ejaculation.

Video – stop start technique

The idea is that he controls his arousal at each stage of this process so that he learns to cope with incremental increases in sexual stimulation without becoming more aroused. It’s a very effective technique provided that it’s used rigorously and practice is maintained.

The man receives stimulation from his partner until he feels he is getting near to the point of ejaculatory inevitability. Stimulation stops at that point until the man feels that his arousal has dropped.

It then begins again, and the process is repeated a number of times until he becomes much more accustomed to receiving stimulation without getting over aroused. It’s possible to do this oneself without a partner using masturbation and stopping when you’re about to reach orgasm. You can then use a similar approach to extending the length of sex in bed with your partner. 

Does The Stop-Start Technique For Stopping Premature Ejaculation Actually Work?

Developed by Dr James Semans, and long regarded as a good way to control ejaculation, things have changed.  There’s lately been been some debate about whether or not the stop start technique for controlling premature ejaculation is actually any good or not.

Semans really was a pioneer way ahead of his time, and developed a treatment method for premature ejaculation that no-one had heard of before.

He said that most men were scared of the fact that premature ejaculation might be psychological, and tended to see a doctor to get a physical cure. However, as he observed, women were dissatisfied with sex where men came so quickly. (So much so that a definition of premature ejaculation might be that the man “ejaculated before the woman had reached orgasm”.)

Now, in response to this demand for greater control in men and better sex for women, Semans was to develop a treatment method that was basically all about encouraging men to learn how to tolerate sexual stimulation without ejaculating.

And the way he did this was what we know as the “stop-start technique”. Starting with masturbation, a man would stimulate himself to the point where he was about to ejaculate, and then he would stop stimulating himself and wait until his arousal had dropped.

Now you all know this point, it’s called the “point of no return”, or the “point of ejaculatory inevitability“, and the sensations that build up at this point are unmistakable and very well known to every man who’s ever masturbated or had sex.

These feeling serve as a good indication of the fact that ejaculation is about to happen. So stimulation is stopped at this point, and according to Seman’s treatment protocol the man waits until the sensations in his penis and pelvis have decreased and he knows that he’s no longer on the verge of ejaculation.

This cycle is repeated as many times as may be necessary during masturbation to allow the man to develop greater tolerance of sexual stimulation.

As Semans put it, this was the mechanism of prolonging the ejaculation reflex. Now the man’s erection might or might not soften, but that’s irrelevant, because stimulation of the penis will always bring it back to full hardness. It’s the interruption of stimulation, the pause, and the resumption, that allows a man to receive sexual stimulation without ejaculating too quickly.

Naturally enough, the treatment protocol moves from masturbation by the man, to masturbation by the partner, to sexual intercourse as it develops. This requires the full co-operation of the man’s sexual partner. 

So the idea was that in stage two, the woman would masturbate the man until he told her that he was about to ejaculate, and at this point she would remove her hand and stop stimulating him. The process was repeated over and over many times, until in the final sequence or cycle of stimulation man was allowed to ejaculate.

In addition, the couple went through a progressive series of exercises, starting with a dry hand, and finishing with ample slippery lubricant which mirrored the environment of the vagina.

When good control had been established during masturbation, the man and woman would use the same process during intercourse – stimulation to the point of ejaculation, then pausing, then continuing to make love.

Semans claimed that it was possible for a man to be so tolerant of sexual stimulation that he was able to tolerate indefinite stimulation without ejaculation even when using lubricant. If that was transferable to sex, then the man would have marvelous ejaculatory control!

While this seems to be a very simple technique, Semans reported great success with it. Obviously one of the downsides is the interruption of sex during partner-masturbation and partner-intercourse. In the latter, the penis is withdrawn, and the man allows his arousal to drop before recommencing intercourse.

Finally, maybe one of the reasons Seman’s patients showed such dramatic improvements in length of their ejaculatory latency was that he was basically educating them in sexual techniques of which they were ignorant.

Does it work? Check that out here.

The Squeeze Technique As Treatment For PE

Video on the squeeze technique for PE

Interestingly enough, Masters’ and Johnson’s claimed a lot of success with their “squeeze technique” – but it’s not been so for other therapists trying it. Did they claimed a higher success rate than they actually achieved? (The essence is: squeeze the glans before ejaculation till the urge to ejaculate diminishes. Repeat as required. That’s simplified, and shortened, but that’s basically it.)

Maybe, but perhaps their success rate was down to their relationship with their patients – a long relationship, extensive and deeply committed.  

One of its advantages over the squeeze technique is the latter involves firm pressure being applied to the base of the penile glans between the frenulum and the coronal ridge on the opposite side. This id done at the point where the man becomes aware of the sensations of emission.

This certainly reduces his sexual arousal, and often causes his erection to decrease in rigidity, thereby moving his sexual arousal back down to a lower level. That way he can continue with sexual activity for longer, but it’s sometimes uncomfortable. Also, it is certainly disrupting to intimacy between the partners. And the stop start technique is more amenable to incorporation into sexual play than the squeeze technique.

Personal Experience With This Premature Ejaculation Cure

Ian Kerner is a certified clinical sexologist who has written about his own experience of learning to control his ejaculation. He says that it was the stop-start method that finally smashed his relationship into pieces (though his girlfriend at the time does not sound like a particularly accommodating woman).

According to his account, with so much stopping and rather less starting, she finally lost patience, shouted “Are we having sex or parking the car?” and stormed out of the room! She gave him an ultimatum that he had to have his sexual performance figured out, his premature ejaculation cured, by the time she got back from a business trip. And then he went into a place of feeling like a little boy incapable of controlling his bodily functions.

This does remind us that part of the problem with premature ejaculation is psychological. The shadow of emotional wounds with women during childhood – mother, sisters, other family members – can impact a little boy for life. He may, as an adult, develop shadow energies around women which continue to play out in adulthood. This is a complex area, but you may find this book helps to explain the idea of shadow. You can also buy the book in the USA – the book is  about the shadow, human psychology and emotional healing. 

Kerner says, in fact, that he considered PE his “tragic downfall”. With more experience and knowledge, of course, Kerner soon discovered that he’s actually one of a vast body of men who have little ability to overcome premature ejaculation, and who are looking for a cure.

He says as many as 30% of men suffer from this particular sexual dysfunction. However, that 30% figure is based on self-reporting.  But premature ejaculation may actually be “natural”. It does make sense from the point of view of evolution that the fastest ejaculating males would be a more likely to succeed in fertilizing a female. For one thing they’d be safer from predators than those who required a prolonged session of mating before they ejaculated.

If PE is not in fact a sexual dysfunction, but a completely normal way of functioning based on normal human physiology, perhaps the term “premature ejaculation” could be replaced by another such as “naturally fast ejaculation”.

Kerner’s personal story was all about how he tried to deal with PE in the usual ways: masturbating before dates, using alcohol, and donning two condoms. He even talks about distracting himself, which is possibly the most classic and the most useless way of controlling your ejaculation. Thinking about corpses during sex does not make for a pleasant experience! He even tried herbal medicines and a dab of cocaine on the tip of his penis, but those strategies did not work either.

After the ultimatum from his girlfriend, Kerner says that he tried to find a cure using biofeedback, self hypnosis and “masturbation training” from a specialist.  Needless to say, of course, he’d achieved no greater control by the time he went to bed with her after the business trip.

In fact, he must have been very nervous because he spontaneously ejaculated before he’d even achieved penetration. His final – and successful – attempt to find a premature ejaculation treatment that worked was with the help of a sex therapist who enabled him to achieve much longer lasting intercourse by using the techniques of behavioral therapy.


Premature ejaculation cures

The speed of a man’s ejaculation is determined genetically according to Utrecht University neuropsychiatrist, Dr Marcel Waldinger, and pharmacological researcher, Paddy Janssen, who have scrutinized a group of Dutch men with premature ejaculation. Shame may play a part – so, if you know you have sexual shame issues, see a therapist or counsellor.

You can read the results in detail in the celebrated international scientific periodical, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, but here is an outline of their research.

Waldinger and Janssen took 89 Dutch men who suffer from premature ejaculation in its primary form that is men who have always had this problem.

Waldinger pointed out that the study applied only to men who have ejaculated prematurely right from their first sexual experience and does not include men who started with the problem later on in life.

There was also a control group of another 92 men. The experiment was conducted at home and lasted a month, during which time the female partners used a stopwatch to measure the time from penetration to ejaculation every time they had intercourse.

Having listed the men in order of ‘speed’, the next step was to examine their individual genetic makeup.

The results were surprising but interesting. In those men who suffer from premature ejaculation, the monoamine neurotransmitter ‘serotonin’ appears to be less dynamic between the nerves in the part of the brain that controls sexual function and ejaculation.

This substance is one of the many brain chemicals linked to sexual activity and desire. Its function is to transfer signals from one neuron to another, but due to the minimal activity of serotonin in men with the primary form of premature ejaculation, this signal transfer does not take place properly.

Waldinger and Janssen say that a gene which had already been discovered, that is 5-HTTLPR, seems to be responsible for the quantity and activity of serotonin, which in turn means that this gene controls the rapidity of ejaculation. There are 3 types of this gene known as LL, SL and SS.

The study shows that the LL type causes a very quick ejaculation so that on average, men with LL ejaculate at twice the speed of men with the SS type, and also they are almost twice as fast as men with the SL type.

This is just a preliminary result. The researchers are now looking for other genes that may be involved in the ejaculation process.

Marcel Waldinger has always opined that premature ejaculation was not psychological. As early as 1998, he predicted, with the aid of experimentation, that both the speed with which men ejaculate and the primary form of premature ejaculation were determined by the individual’s genetic makeup.

So far he has stood alone in his theory that contradicts the prevalent idea that premature ejaculation in its primary form is a psychological disorder. The results of this new piece of research confirm the genetic theory and may in future contribute to the treatment of premature ejaculation by means of gene therapy.

A spray on delay for PE

Sufferers from premature ejaculation will be interested in a great new pharmaceutical product which was recently unveiled at the 104th Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Urological Association.

It is called PSD502, a new topical spray, which is claimed to be a safe and effective medication for premature ejaculation.

The scientists who researched the product, Doctors Wyllie, Heath and Dinsmore, presented their data on the spray’s capabilities within a presentation of their 3 phase, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled experiment.

This is the background to the study. One of the current treatments for premature ejaculation is the squeeze technique.

Another consists of a topical cream with desensitizing properties which muffles the sensitivity of the penile skin and therefore delays ejaculation.

This is very effective but this cream requires the use of a condom plus you need to wash it all away before intercourse and moreover it may reduce sexual pleasure.

The researchers have invented a new topical spray, which consists of an aerosol fusion of lidocaine and prilocaine, which they can prove to be effective and simple to use.

This new medication is applied five minutes before intercourse. It works by selectively desensitizing the penile skin, acting only the non-keratinized skin, which is the interior lining of the foreskin and the exterior of the glans. It works without adversely affecting the sensation of ejaculation.

Delay spray

The study worked like this. The researchers chose 300 men with premature ejaculation, diagnosed under the guidelines of the International Society of Sexual Medicine that is having an intravaginal ejaculatory latency time of a minute or less.

The participants were divided into two groups, one group used the PSD502 spray and the men in the other group were given a placebo spray.

Each man had to the spray he was given five minutes prior to sexual intercourse. Both groups were equal in having an average standard of 0.6 minutes latency time before ejaculation.

The result proved the efficacy of the PSD502 spray. The PSD502 group had an average latency time of four minutes while the placebo group improved but only up to one minute.

The spray was well tolerated by both the men and their partners, and there were very few reports of systemic events or serious adverse side effects. The PSD502 group reported 2.6% of treatment-related adverse events and the placebo group reported 1%.

The study was succinctly and accurately summed up by Dr Ira D. Sharlip of the American Urological Association. He said that premature ejaculation is one of the most prolific of all man’s sexual dysfunctions. It strikes at between 20% and 30% of men of all ages and social groups.

An effective, patient-friendly treatment for this terrible problem is urgently needed. This amazing new topical spray has the potential to become one of the modern world’s most effective treatments for cases of PE.  But, as of July 2020 it is still not available anywhere…..

Curing Premature Ejaculation

You Can Control Premature Ejaculation

The simple truth is that comparatively few guys who have a rapid ejaculation problem will seek treatment for it, and this can lead to considerable discomfort, both emotional and physical, within a sexual relationship.

After all, the one thing premature ejaculation suggests is that a man doesn’t care about his partner sufficiently to find a cure for the problem and overcome it. For another, the woman may interpret his rapid ejaculation as an “abandonment”, since premature ejaculation tends to bring sex to an abrupt end, often when the couple are in the middle of intercourse, with the woman still feeling emotionally connected to her partner.  And nothing is more important to a woman than the knowledge that her man loves her – the Lover archetype is a powerful force in the feminine psyche, and emotional wounding in the lover archetype here will always make a woman feel insecure.

However you regard it, therefore, premature ejaculation is an unfavorable sexual dysfunction to have within a relationship, and it’s to everybody’s advantage that a suitable treatment program should be found.

I’m glad to say that my sex therapist colleague Lloyd Lester has developed an extremely successful treatment for premature ejaculation, which I recommend highly. This treatment is based upon the principles of sex therapy, as used in a one-to-one clinical setting by sex therapists with their clients. He’s a bit of a Magician, is old Lloyd, being one of the most successful sex therapists on line. Read more about emotional wounding in the magician archetype here.

It takes several treatment approaches and blends them into a single effective and powerful strategy of overcoming premature ejaculation. The main components of this treatment program are:

1 Behavioral modification techniques to ensure the man has a behavioural repertoire that gives him the greatest chance of overcoming premature ejaculation.

2 Cognitive modification techniques using techniques such as NLP and self hypnosis to ensure that the man has sex with the maximum chance of overcoming any tendency whatsoever to ejaculate quickly.

3 Physiological techniques that allow the man to exercise greater control over his own arousal, including, for example, the use of the pubococcygeal muscle to control the rate at which his arousal increases, and to slowdown his approach to the point of ejaculatory inevitability. In this context, it’s worth mentioning that although many so-called authorities on the Internet have recommended squeezing the PC muscle as the man approaches the point of no return, regarding this perhaps as an effective strategy to control the premature ejaculation, the truth is – it’s a completely ineffectual way of controlling ejaculation, and simply doesn’t work.

The only way to use the PC muscle to control rapid ejaculation is to squeeze it gently in the run-up to the point of no return, and by doing this, a man will find his arousal diminishes, his erection softens, and the degree of excitement he’s feeling significantly lessens.

All of this information can be found in an excellent treatment program written by my colleague Lloyd Lester, which explains information here — it’s called Ejaculation by Command — and it really works well for men who aren’t fully aware of their level of arousal during intercourse, or who find that the speed at which they approach ejaculation seems uncontrollable, and far too rapid.

Premature ejaculation can certainly be a real handicap between man and woman in a relationship. It is only by seeking a cure, and sticking rigidly to the treatment protocols that a man is likely to stand any chance whatsoever of overcoming premature ejaculation; it when he does so, the rewards are far greater than you might expect, simply because sex is made so much more relaxed, and so much more enjoyable for both partners.

The outcome of treatment for premature ejaculation is usually extremely successful when the man and his partner both combine to take part in the treatment, and work as a team to ensure that man has the maximum chance of overcoming his sexual dysfunction.

Let me assure you that in all the treatment programs available on the Internet, I have never found such reliable and good information as is available in the one to which I have linked above. Lloyd Lester is an extremely experienced sex therapist, who I know personally, and with whom I have worked on many projects over the years.

He’s a researcher who has taken a great deal of trouble to investigate all of the currently recommended treatment programs for premature ejaculation, and has clearly identified the ones that work, combining them into a single holistic strategy that offers great hope for sexual pleasure for all men and women everywhere.

By examining the contents of his treatment program, Ejaculation by Command, you should be able to establish fairly rapidly which parts of it are suitable for you and your partner, and thereby you will be able to establish treatment protocol for yourselves which is ideally suited to your particular experience of premature ejaculation.

The author of programs available 24/7 to offer support and advice to all customers who have purchased this product; this is particularly valuable benefit for you, and should allow you to gain maximum advantage from the treatment program.

What I would say is that in the context of any treatment sexual dysfunction, it’s essential to ensure that you have adequate support, so do not attempt to solve the problem without the support of your partner, which is an essential prerequisite for all men who may find themselves seeking help for dysfunction.

Without the support of your partner, it’s unlikely that the treatment program will succeed, because the exercises which you engage in to ensure that you’re not going to ejaculate before your level of arousal is as high as it can possibly be, will be impossible to practice without her help.

in general, treatment for premature ejaculation is highly successful, and it’s surprising how few men actually seek help — apparently the average time for a man who has this dysfunction to seek help is six years, which is a truly shocking statistic, but perhaps understandable in view of the embarrassment and shame which it engenders.

Understanding A Lack Of Stamina In Bed


Men learn to get aroused by using pornography, where the focus is obviously external to themselves.

And often porn is so arousing that they don’t have any hope of controlling their sexual responses anyway. I’m not sure whether this is a factor in limited bedroom stamina, but I think there might be something in it.

What I do know to be true is the fact that during sex you actually have to pay attention to what’s happening between you and your partner, keeping your focus on how you feel and on how she’s responding to what you’re doing to her.

When you’re “in the moment” like this, sensing everything that is happening, you are much more aware of how aroused you are.

This means you have a much greater chance of being able to control your level of arousal – and hence your staying power – by changing what you’re doing with your partner – e.g. switching to something that actually turns you on less, until your arousal has leveled off, and you can continue without danger of ejaculating unexpectedly.

Now, suppose that you have a high level of resentment, frustration, or stress in your relationship: it makes sense that if you try making love it’s not going to be as successful as it would be if you were feeling emotionally close and intimate with your partner.

For one thing, you’re already feeling emotionally aroused and, as we’ve seen above, that will affect your sexual responses.

And for another, who would actually want to be making love to somebody with whom they feel angry? Doesn’t it follow that you might just come quite quickly because subconsciously you simply want the experience to be over with? (Could this be why so many men lack endurance in the bedroom?)

I suspect the same is true of men who have a deep-seated conflict with women or a deep-seated lack of trust in women – and I can tell you, once again from years of experience with hundreds of men, that those two things are extremely common.

There’s another factor at work here, which is the widespread belief that men should be able to have sex with any woman who seems to be willing. The truth is, as I learned when I used to run an advice line for adolescents, that the body never lies.

Young men who were not confident about sex, or who were not ready to have intercourse, or who had been seduced into sexual situations by an older partner when they really didn’t want to make love, all found that their erections would mysteriously disappear, even though they were turned on, at the point where intercourse is about to start.

I mean, the truth is this: they didn’t have the staying power or the ability to last longer in the bedroom because they didn’t want to be there… in short, they didn’t want to be having sex with the person concerned, and their penis made it impossible for it to happen.

I rather suspect the same thing happens to men later in life, but the way in which the mind makes its true feelings clear is by causing premature ejaculation. Then we seek an explanation for what looks like a lack of bedroom stamina and staying power. We go on a search for ways to increase staying power. For techniques which will show us how to last longer in bed….. and they may not work!

And finally of course there’s good old sexual performance anxiety, from which we’ve all suffered at times. The sexual pressure on men is considerable. Not just to go to bed with any willing woman, but also to take her to orgasm, to be responsible for her orgasm in fact, to last long enough in bed, and to show that they are sexually competent in every way.

No wonder men get anxious about sex! With that weight of responsibility on their shoulders who wouldn’t?

And anxiety from all these things can stimulate a man’s level of sexual arousal to the point where the threat to self-esteem if he gets it wrong is so great that he just feels anxious about making love.

Feeling anxious will cause a rapid ejaculation, which then reinforces his self-doubt and anxiety, setting up a vicious circle of negative expectation and quick ejaculation which can be quite hard to break – unless you have the right techniques and tools at your disposal.

A similar cause of anxiety is the worry about being able to satisfy a sexual partner. One of the ways that this can be dealt with is to give her an orgasm through oral pleasure or masturbation before intercourse begins.

Needless to say anything anything else that causes anxiety about sex, be it fear of sexually transmitted infections, fear of getting a woman pregnant, fear of losing your erection, and a million other things, can also cause rapid ejaculation – or at least they can be factors in its genesis.