Female Sexual Pleasure
For any man who doesn’t yet know it, the clitoris is the secret key to female sexuality.
It’s certainly the key to bringing her to orgasm! The most common sexual complaint from women is that their men do not take time to stimulate the clitoris during sex.
Any sex therapist will tell you that their female clients’ biggest complaint is that they can’t experience orgasm during penis in the vagina intercourse.
How to enjoy sex more
The problem is that very few women can come to orgasm this way. It’s been suggested that no more than about 10% of women reach orgasm through vaginal thrusting alone . Even the women who can come this way may be getting extra stimulation such as grinding of bodies putting pressure on the clitoral area.
In some positions, it’s certainly true that if a woman is aroused when intercourse starts, additional stimulation of this kind can make her orgasm.
But the fundamental problem seems to be more basic than that of which position to use! Most men simply don’t appreciate that the clitoris needs to be stimulated to arouse a woman before penetration even takes place. (Yes, men, it’s called foreplay!)
Whether or not clitoral stimulation continues after penetration seems almost like a subsidiary matter!
We know that about 80% of women don’t reach orgasm during intercourse, and even the ones who do are probably getting extra simulation to the clitoris in some way. This might be by means of manual stimulation, either by the woman or her partner, or it might be through the banging and grinding of two bodies during intercourse.
Accepting that a woman isn’t going to reach orgasm through intercourse alone raises the question of what’s to be done to ensure she gets pleasure.
Many women resort to faking intercourse. This is a strategy which doesn’t lead to long-term happiness though. After all, what is a woman going to do when her man discovers she’s been faking and asks “You’ve been faking it for how long?”
And while being honest with each other about the chance of reaching orgasm during intercourse can be challenging, it’s actually a better strategy to be open and frank with each other.
This may not be an easy conversation, particularly if you’ve been faking orgasms a long time, but it’s going to lead to a better sex life in the future.
If you can clearly explain to your partner what makes you reach orgasm, what you need to make you come, he’s probably going to be very willing to ensure that you do.
After all, sex is much better for a man when he’s making love to an aroused woman.
So this will require you, as a woman, to explain to your man what he needs to do to make you orgasm. You may have observed that men don’t seem to know much about female anatomy, and they don’t know much about how to stimulate the clitoris!
It’s your job to educate your man so that he knows exactly how to bring you to orgasm.
For example, one thing men really need to be educated about is the need to continue stimulation in a steady way as a woman approaches orgasm.
They may not know that changing the rhythm or speed of stimulation is something that may affect a woman’s ability to orgasm.
An while most men can’t take stimulation to the penis after they have started to ejaculate, you might actually like gentle stimulation to continue during your orgasmic spasms.
Female ejaculation is another area that’s provoked a great deal of controversy in the past. It’s not a myth, however, and although it may only be a minority of women who actually forcefully ejaculate fluid from the urethra during orgasm, it’s certainly a possibility for many more.
While we don’t exactly know what this fluid is, we certainly know is that it’s exciting for a woman. It’s also extremely exciting for a man to have a woman orgasm and ejaculate her ejaculatory fluid. This seems to be the equivalent of male prostatic fluid.
A female orgasm with ejaculation is achieved by stimulating the G spot inside the vagina. Once again, there’s debate about what exactly the G spot may be.
The general consensus appears to be that it’s a sensitive area of tissue on the upper wall of the vagina about one to two inches inside. Some experts suggest that this area represents a nerve complex of clitoral and pudendal nerves. When they are stimulated a woman may have a more powerful orgasm.
However, at first touch, a woman may feel that she needs to urinate. However if she’s already emptied the bladder she won’t be scared of wetting the bed, and can ignore sensations of needing to pee. She will then find that stimulation of her G spot can be deeply satisfying.
Of course, as those who experience this will know, it’s necessary for a woman to be turned on before G spot stimulation starts if she is to gain pleasure from it.
This can be judged easily by feeling the texture of the G spot: if it feels like a ridged surface, then the woman needs more attention to her clitoris to take her to a higher level of arousal. If it feels smooth and tumescent, then the woman will probably enjoy G spot massage.
This can be particularly stimulating when combined with oral sex. So when a man knows how to stimulate the G spot and is able to stimulate his partner’s clitoris at the same time, he may bring her to one of the most rewarding and powerful orgasms she’s ever going to experience!
G spot climax can take time to achieve, but it’s definitely worth the wait because it’s such an extreme form of orgasm. This is true whether there is an accompanying ejaculation or not.
One way to achieve ejaculation is for the woman to bear down, pushing her PC muscles out rather than clenching them in just as she’s about to reach orgasm. This will hopefully increase the chance of squirting, and impress both her and her partner!
Fellatio For Men
Many women appear to be reluctant to perform fellatio on their men.
However, men really like oral sex, perhaps not even because it’s a wonderful sensation, but because it conveys a sense of love and respect from their partner.
Learning to give a man good oral pleasure is definitely going to reinforce the bond between you both – it’s a wonderful way of expressing your love to a man, and indeed it’s a very good way of giving sexual pleasure to your man.
And you don’t have to accept your man’s ejaculate in your mouth, because you can “finish him off” with your hand. Switch to your hand just before he ejaculates. He’s unlikely to really know the difference – in sensation at least. If he likes to watch himself ejaculate in your mouth, (and men are programmed to ejaculate inside the female body) then you might accept his ejaculate in your mouth and then discreetly spit it into a tissue.
There are certain obvious practicalities involved in orally pleasuring a man – for example, you might want to ensure that your teeth are protected by your lips, so you don’t damage the super-sensitive head of his penis, or abrade the shaft with your teeth.
And you can press your other hand firmly against his perineum to massage his prostate from the outside. Don’t forget that more lube is always better. If you don’t have a copious supply of saliva, you might want to use some kind of flavored lubricant.
If you’re willing to add to the experience for your man by going down on your knees and adopting a subservient position while looking up at him, he’ll be totally thrilled with what you’re doing.
This is a great gift to give to a man, and it’s one that all men appreciate. Heavens, it might even make some men fall in love. You see, most men want more sex (at least in my experience of counselling men), and they appreciate this generous giveaway from their woman when she is prepared to offer this pleasure.
Learning how to give good oral sex isn’t complicated. One of the best techniques is to go slowly at first, using your lips and cheeks to stimulate his penis as much as possible.
All you really need to do, however, is to watch his responses, and you’ll certainly soon realize which moves are most pleasurable to him.
Some men don’t actually find oral sex arousing enough to reach the point of ejaculation, so you might need to add a little bit of hand stimulation if you both want to bring sex to completion this way.
Oral Sex For Women
When it comes to returning the favor, men need to understand how you want to be pleasured during oral sex.
Men tend to focus on the clitoris, and perhaps even to point their tongue at it! You should explain what you really like, but not in a critical way which will cause irritation and possibly conflict between the two of you.
You can say things like “That feels great, and if you would choose to try doing this, I think it might feel even better…” This is a delicate and sensitive way of conveying your wishes to your partner. If you like oral pleasure combined with a finger in your vagina, tell your man what you like. Always make sure that you have plenty of lubrication to hand so as to ensure that the sensation of stimulation on your clitoris as pleasant as possible.