One of the things that is absolutely essential for every man who is trying to last longer in bed is to have complete control over their mental and psychological processes around sex.
You see, one of the things that makes sex difficult for men is the fact that often they have hidden emotional issues such as repressed fear, anger, resentment, shame or guilt – and any of these can cause premature ejaculation because they distance the man from his partner, making intimacy difficult, and subconsciously making him ejaculate as quickly as possible to ensure that sex is over as soon as possible.
You can see that this is a “defence mechanism“, albeit an unconscious one, which is designed to make the man safe in the face of the threat (real or perceived) of sexual intimacy. Now, I’m sure you understand that in cases like this, physical techniques to suppress premature ejaculation don’t have much effect – as they say, the answer is “all in the mind”.
And for me, what this means, in effect, is that you actually have to have some effective mental techniques that can control premature ejaculation – and of course first and foremost amongst those is going to see a sex therapist.
But many men don’t want to do that, partly because it’s expensive, and partly because they’re embarrassed and ashamed about admitting that they have sexual difficulties such as premature ejaculation.
Another alternative is to see a hypnotherapist, although a lot of men feel difficulties around that as well, because seeing a hypnotherapist, when all’s said and done, is just as intimate an interaction seeing a psychotherapist or a sex therapist – and for the same reasons as listed above, many men won’t want to do this.
One option which does avoid this kind of possible intimacy and shame is downloading self hypnosis recordings from the Internet and playing them regularly to yourself, while you’re in a relaxed state – and there are many reports on the Internet of premature ejaculation being cured, or at least alleviated, by the use of self hypnosis. I think it’s a very good method, and I think there is a lot to recommend it – it can be done in private, it’s comparatively cheap, and it seems to be highly effective.
Nonetheless, if you are a man with premature ejaculation you’re probably going to want something that acts as an “instant” cure – by which I mean, something that actually works tonight for you if you’re going to make love to your partner this evening. And for young men who have frequent succession of younger partners (or at least, may have!), then a rapid solution for premature ejaculation is probably very important indeed.
So what am I going to suggest? Well it’s the million-dollar question, but I do have a solution in mind – visualization of your objective.
I don’t want you to think that this is some kind of strange rehashed version of The Secret, because it isn’t anything of the kind.
As you may know, manifestation and the Law of Attraction became popular subjects in around 2007, when Rhonda Byrne wrote a book called The Secret and then made a film of it – purporting to show the secrets behind manifestation and the universal law of attraction.
In my judgement that book and film were a little bit short on instruction and advice on how to do it (how to manifest what you want, I mean) which probably accounts for a lot of the disappointment that I sense around this field.
However, it doesn’t mean to say that you can’t use manifestation principles for curing psychological problems like premature ejaculation – because you can!
Indeed, I’d highly recommend this as an approach to the problem, because when all said and done, sexual issues like this are indeed mental issues, and most of the approaches to manifestation of love traction are also psychological and mental processes.
The question therefore is is there any overlap or synergy between these two areas which might be helpful to men who have sexual dysfunctions of this kind? The answer appears to be a very definite yes.
You’ll be glad to know that visualization is a technique that is recommended by sexual therapist for changing your sexual performance in bed for the better – the essence of this technique is to “reprogram” the subconscious mind with the different way of being in sexual situations.
How to reprogram the subconscious
What this means in practice is that you picture yourself making love in whatever way you imagine to be most desirable for you – in terms of time, in terms of duration, in terms of sexual pleasure, in terms of female orgasm videos – whatever your ideal parameters around making love are, you need to bring them into your visualization in great detail..
Now as you probably know, one of the secrets of visualization, or at least successful visualization, is visualizing the scene you wish to create as though it was already present in your life.
So you visualize in as much colour and imagery as possible, using all your senses to accentuate the reality of the scene. You’ll also find it helpful – nay, essential – to visualize the scene as though it had already happened, as though it was already present in your life, so you MUST visualize in the first person / present tense.
I can’t guarantee success, but what I can tell you is that visualizing in this way is one of the key elements of psychological change for many people – and it’s certainly a powerful way of reprogramming your subconscious with a different way of operating in any situation, let alone sexual situations.
Will it work for you?
There’s only one way to find out, which is to actually try it; seeing if you can manifest the reality you’re trying to create using these techniques isn’t difficult.
It will only require an investment of around 10 to 15 minutes twice a day, which should be more than enough to reveal progress within a matter of weeks.
I agree this is not the rapid daily progress I mentioned above, but it’s certainly better than nothing, and let’s face it – if the alternatives like buying pricey and unnecessary antidepressants like Dapoxetine to use as “off label” premature ejaculation control pills, this seems to me to be a highly preferable approach.